What sort of Hacker are you?

Hackers come in many shapes and sizes but, basically, they fall into three categories.
1. The passing-through hacker.
With the possible exception of child prodigies like Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy, everybody goes through a hacker phase when they first take up golf. Some take to it quicker than others. A few fortunates, notably players good at other sports in which hand and eye co-ordination plays an important part, don’t linger long as a high handicapper but often long enough to win a few prizes. They improve so rapidly that the handicap system can’t keep up with them. They always seem to have more shots than they deserve — hence the term ‘bandit’. It is their fault that every hacker is regarded suspiciously as a potential bandit but only occasionally do we actually cause problems for the better players.
2. The optimistic, ‘I’m going to get there in the end’, hacker.
Most hackers fall into this category but their progress is usually so slow and painful it is a long, long journey to a respectable handicap such as 18. Then they’ll probably suffer from a shortage of shots and will be in danger of creeping back up again. What they’ll never lose is their hope, enthusiasm and the conviction that they’re never far away from the breakthrough. This makes them the game’s best customers for lessons, new clubs and any new gimmick. It also makes them vulnerable to golf’s biggest ration of despair.
3. The happy hacker.
Only a hacker who finally accepts his lot can qualify for this group. He loves the game but has been dogged by his limitations for so long he wouldn’t be without them. He doesn’t enter medals any more and is quite happy to play in the same four-ball every week with pals of a like standard. They laugh and argue and have endless fun playing for a pound. If a hacker scores an eight and his opponent gets a nine he’s won the hole. Seven or eight holes like that and he’ll go home in triumph. But don’t ask him how many shots he took for the round. You don’t stay happy when you start adding them up.

2 thoughts on “What sort of Hacker are you?

  1. As an optimist who is becomming a pessimist, I long for the day when I achieve the status of “happy”. oh how I long for that far off joyous day!
    Just discovered you and your writings, long may you continue and thank you.

    • John, don’t be pessimistic for too long over your golf. It’s no good hacking around saying “Oh dear, it couldn’t get worse than this!”

      As a lapsed optimist, you can be far more optimistic about it all – of course it can get worse!

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